When you deal with a addicted person or client and you are one of a group of people dealing with this person, at some point you may come across splitting. This happens is a drug rehab quite often, especially at the beginning of the rehab program. Splitting is a manipulation technique. It inolves making you feel special, and tries to pull you away from the group concencus. Here is a typical splitting scenario.
Someone may come up to you and say, " Do you know what Bill did to me?" Then they explain the injustice or how they were "treated unfairly". Then comes the splitting comment …. I know YOU would never do that! In one sentence they give you a "compliment", and pull you away from the other person. This type of manipulation involves creating a subgroup of 2 people, you and them, who reall know what is going on.
When you are dealing with people with an addiction or in drug rehab, be aware of splitting. This is especially true if you are just dealing with a loved one over the phone while they are at a drug rehab. Statement like, "You are the ONLY family member that understand what I am going through" is a splitting statement. Invariably requests for "special" treatment will follow. The key to deal with splitting is to simply bring in the other poeple. A good response to the above statement would be to answer with, "Wow, I didn't know that, let's get the rest of the family on a conference call and see if we can get them to understand. It's inportant everyone know you feel this way!" Splitters will immediately back off. They do not what an open conversation with everyone, as they are probably telling the other family members the say line they just told you. ! ;
Splitters are not only in addiction and drug rehab. You will find them everywhere in your life. Truth and openess are the best answer to them.
